Forever's New Beginning
by chocolatequeen
Summary: Rose is none too happy with the Doctor for trying to send her to Pete's World-and not just for the reasons he supposes. Pregnancy fic.


When the suction from the void disappeared and the breach sealed itself, all the anger Rose had tamped down came rushing back. The Doctor had tried to send her away. He'd tried to send _them both_ away. The rational side of her brain tried to remind her that he didn't know, but it was overridden by the remembered terror as she'd considered carrying an alien baby without any input from the alien father.

 _And it wasn't like it was that hard to keep me safe here,_ she told herself bitterly as she untied the rope she'd attached to her belt loop. _He didn't even_ try _to think of another answer._

The object of her silent rant rushed across the room and swept her up into his arms. For a moment, she shared his relief and welcomed the frantic kiss he pressed to her lips. But when he tried to pull her closer, she withdrew from his embrace without so much as looking at him.

"Let's go home, Doctor," she told him tiredly. "These white walls are making my eyes hurt." She started for the stairwell, and a moment later, she heard the soft shuffle of his Chucks as he followed her.

The TARDIS hummed joyfully when she pushed open the doors. Rose brushed a hand over the closest strut in thanks and asked the question she desperately needed the answer to. _Is the baby okay? Going across the void didn't hurt it?_

She could have told the Doctor why she was upset and let him scan her, but right now, she trusted the TARDIS more than she did him. It was the ship that had first let her know she was pregnant, anyway.

Reassurance washed over her, and Rose sank onto the jump seat as the Doctor sent them into the vortex. She could tell the ship had been yelling at the Doctor from the moment they'd set foot inside, but for once, she didn't try to soften her temper. The Doctor deserved every bit of what he was getting.

"Why'd you do it, Doctor?" Rose asked once the time rotor stopped moving, indicating they were floating in the vortex.

The Doctor turned and leaned against the console, his fingers running over the controls as he spoke. "I couldn't bear to watch you disappear into the void."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "So it was really all about you, then, wasn't it?" she pointed out. " _You_ couldn't bear to lose me, so _you_ sent me away to protect yourself without even asking what I wanted, or if I had a plan to stay safe."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "That's not fair," he said, his voice low. "You're saying I should have just accepted the high likelihood of watching you die when I could do something to keep you safe?"

"I'm saying it's my life and the choice should have been mine!" Rose retorted. "And living in Pete's World, being stuck there without you…" She swiped at the tears that welled up in her eyes.

 _Bloody hormones._ She'd never been an angry crier, but apparently, being pregnant threw all the rules out the window.

The uncharacteristic tears had the Doctor kneeling in front of her in moments. "Rose? What's wrong, love?" he asked as he used his thumb to wipe tears from her cheek.

Rose flinched at the term. "Don't call me that if you don't mean it." She'd accepted his inability to actually tell her he loved her, thinking his preferred endearment was his way of saying the words. But today, she doubted everything.

"Of course I…" His voice trailed off, and he cleared his throat. "Rose. You know how I feel about you."

The pause, the hesitation, and the avoidance were all so familiar by now, but today, they cut Rose's already bruised heart to shreds. "Do I, Doctor? How can I believe you love me when you've never even said…" The words choked in her throat and she jumped to her feet and swept past him, avoiding his outstretched hand. Her tears nearly blinded her, but she knew the TARDIS well enough to get around without being able to see.

"Rose, please."

The desperation in his voice stopped her at the foot of the ramp, but she didn't look back at him.

"Don't leave… don't shut me out. Not today, not when we came so close to losing each other."

Tears pulsed beneath the tight strains of his voice, and Rose realised she'd only heard him sound like this once before—when he'd told her that even if she spent the rest of her life with him, he wouldn't be able to spend the rest of his with her. A hint of sympathy broke through her hurt and anger as she remembered how the thought of losing her always devastated him. For the first time since he'd sent her away, she was able to consider his perspective. If she hadn't tied herself to that magnaclamp, he would have watched her fall into the void.

She swayed on her feet, emotion and lack of food making her dizzy. Instead of going back to sit down, she grabbed onto the railing.

"That's not all we almost lost, Doctor," she told him, her own voice hoarse from crying and repressed emotion. This wasn't how she'd imagined telling him, but he needed to understand why she was so upset, just like she finally grasped the (misguided) motivation that had led him to drape that button around her neck.

"I know." The defeat in his voice confused her, and she turned around to look at him. "Your mum… I wish I could do something, Rose."

Rose almost laughed at how far off-base he was. "I'm not upset about losing Mum," she assured him. "I mean, I am—of course I'll miss her. But that's not what… is that what you though this whole time?"

The Doctor tugged on his ear and shrugged. "I don't know what to think," he said honestly. "But I know how close you and Jackie were…"

The half-smile on Rose's face confused him more than anything else she'd said or done in the last twenty minutes. How could she go from tears to that smile in under a minute?

"I'm gonna miss her," Rose admitted. "But not nearly as much as you would have missed your child if I'd stayed in Pete's World."

Static buzzed in the Doctor's ears. He stared slack-jaw at Rose, trying to make sense of the words that had just come out of her mouth. Her smile widened the longer he stared at her, and finally, she burst into a fit of giggles.

The joyful sound broke through his daze. "A baby?" he whispered. "You're… are you sure? It shouldn't have been… You and I aren't…"

"According to the TARDIS, we are," Rose corrected him. "She's the one who told me I'm pregnant."

"A baby." The Doctor relished the taste of the word on his tongue, then he finally grasped why Rose had been so upset. "A baby!" He reached her in three strides and swept her up into his arms without pausing.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked.

The Doctor looked down at her. "Rose, you're pregnant and I sent you across the void. I have no idea…" He swallowed hard.

Rose reached up and stroked his temple, something she'd figured out soothed him, even if he hadn't told her exactly why. "We're fine," she promised him. "I asked the TARDIS as soon as we got home."

His footsteps slowed and he reached out for his ship, who offered him the same reassurance she'd given Rose. There was an excited note running through her hum, and he realised she was eagerly looking forward to having a baby on board.

Rose ran her hand over his tie. "So, if you feel better, could you maybe put me down?"

The Doctor chuckled and lowered her feet to the ground. "I'll still be giving you a check-up soon," he warned her. "Cross-species pregnancies are tricky, and I want to make sure nothing goes wrong."

Rose had her gaze focused on the tie she was still playing with. "So… you're happy?"

The Doctor's hearts clenched. _How many ways did I hurt her, just by sending her away?_

With a finger under her chin, he convinced her to look up at him. The wary hopefulness in her eyes stole all his reassuring words, so instead, he bent down and pressed his lips to hers, trying to convey the confusing mix of happiness, love, and relief coursing through him.

Rose's hand moved up his tie and around the back of his neck to settle in his hair, and the Doctor put a hand on her waist to pull her closer. Their kisses were slow and tender, sharing the sweetness of their news and the joy of simply being together on a day that could have ended so differently.

Finally, the Doctor broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to Rose's, feeling her pant against his lips. "Rose. I didn't know it was possible to be this happy. I promise I will never try to send you away like that again." He sighed, and brushed another kiss over her lips. "How long are you going to stay with me?"

Rose pulled back and linked her hands behind his neck. "Forever."


End file.
